By now, we’ve met and discarded Chad #1. He was a player, even in the best of intentions. I’m sad because I liked his personality. He was funny, cute and a challenge. Problem was, he lacked the desire for an actual relationship.
Is it possible to find the entire package in today’s modern world of dating? Here’s my criteria:
- He must be quick-witted.
- He must have higher than average intelligence.
- He must be affectionate.
- He must like sex with women. Remember the gay cover guy?
- He must make the first move.
- He must WANT to meet in person. I’m not into pen pals.
- He must have a good job.
- He must be able to connect on an emotional level.
- And yes, he must be attractive.
Door opens and in walks Chad #2.
Chad #2 may just be the complete package. I’ve fallen in like with the guy and we haven’t even met. This is a potential problem, because when I get this interested before meeting, I’m almost always set up for failure. I know; I really should be more positive, but well, sometimes you can only be disappointed so many times before “the secret” goes in one ear and out the other.
Chad is sexy, smooth and charming. His text flirting makes me smile. It also makes me leery. We start the 20-question game. You know, I text a question, he responds, then it’s my turn to answer. We start out pretty safe: what are your top 3 traits? Are you a dog or cat person? Pepsi or Coke?
It quickly turns more intimate – he asks me “what turns you on?”
Red flag, red flag… I start to panic. Is this guy another player? My heart can’t take more hurt. 30 minutes goes by – I don’t answer the question. I’m bummed, because in my head I’m already judging his behavior – he wants to flirt via text, meet in person to see if there is a mutual spark, and if it’s there – pass directly to the bed.
“Hello? Where’d ya go?” He texted.
Crap. “I’m here! Kissing is always a turn on.” Safe, I know.
But I decide to tell it like it is… and follow with, “Look, I gotta protect myself. I’ve been taken by a couple of players in the last year. They only wanted sex. Including a guy who was married. I’m a little nervous about true intentions – just throwin’ it out there. My heart can’t take crazy. So if you’re just looking for a hook up, I’m not your gal. I know you said “relationship”, but so did they.”
There was a long pause.
And then came the response: “I’m not into that cheap crap. I have integrity. I have been cheated on before and vowed I’d never get involved with someone who has cheated. Not all guys are the same, just like I believe not all women are the same. I have two young daughters to look after. If I wanted to hook up, I would hit the local bar and not bother with the online stuff.”
Yep, I like him even more. Double crap. There was a lull in communication, and then he hit me with the following:
“Not to flatter myself, by I can get sex anywhere. I’m not looking for sex; I’m looking for a relationship.”
Triple crap. He can get sex anywhere? Is he a God? If so, I’m out of the realm of possibilities. Now I’m not worried he’s a player, I’m worried I don’t stand a chance. I’m just a 5 foot 2 inch girl – concentrated awesomeness, yes, – but not sure I can handle Mr. I-Can-Get-Sex-Anywhere.
Just keeping’ it real,